Off to Work I Go....

Well I just finished my first two weeks back at work and it has been easier and harder than I imagined. My first day back was on January 4th, so on a cold morning, I bundled up and took off for the bus ride to work. It was hard because I was trying not to cry (which was very hard) in front of a bus load of high school students. As I walked into work reality finally kicked in that I really was going to have to leave Eli at home. I think until that point I was in some sort of denial and thought, deep down, that Joel would have a job by January.

The work came back to me faster than I imagined (this is the easier part), I still sometimes feel like I have two left feet but slowly it’s getting easier. It has been good to see some of my regular patients, many of whom have been excited to see me and have loved to see pictures of Eli. I also haven’t lost too many of my nursing skills, I successfully started an IV the other day! It has also been neat to see how the clinic has changed and grown since I’ve been gone. I was recounting to Joel that there are many new faces who have no idea who I am which is weird seeing as I’ve been there for three years.

One new aspect and chore of my day now is pumping. Joel and I intend to breastfeed exclusively so that means that 4 times a day I pump. My lunch hour is now sacrificed to sitting in a chilly exam room attempting to eat my lunch while hooked up to a pump. It’s really not that bad, it’s kind of fun to see how much I can pump each day and if I can top myself. The record currently is 13 ounces in one day! Though, I miss not breastfeeding Eli. I miss that bond, how he looks at me and smiles and how we have that time for just the two of us.

One other adjustment is how little awake time I get to spend with Eli. I get home around 6 pm and he is usually ready to nurse to bed between 6:30 and 7 and asleep by 8. It’s hard only getting those few hours with Eli awake. It makes me even more excited for my days off and for the weekends. I miss my boy. He seems to grow in just the 8 hours I’m away at work. One friend pointed out that I really only get about 8 days a month away from work to spend with Joel and Eli. That makes me want to make the most out of those days as our family grows and stretches.

Lastly (at least for now, this is long), Joel is the best husband and father I know! He takes such good care of Eli; it’s amazing! It’s great to see how he knows Eli’s habits, intricacies, expressions and needs. It’s great to not feel the sole burden of working, taking care of Eli, cooking meals, cleaning the house, doing the diapers, etc. Joel moves towards responsibility and is taking care of our family in the most amazing ways.