Aunt Momo's Visit

Well we had a great visit with my sister this weekend, it was the first time that Moriah had seen Eli! It was so great to have her here and sadly, we probably were not the most fun. It's crazy how a baby changes how you spend your weekends. I am still getting used to being somewhat occupied for a good chunk of the day feeding Eli. He tends to feed for about an hour from start to finish so that limits how much I can do during the day with visitors. (I feel somewhat bad that they have to sit around.) We can go out and do things as I am getting more used to breastfeeding out in public, so that helps. I am thankful that Madison is a pretty good community when it comes to public nursing. There is a great initiative in town (and across the US) called Nursing Is Normal which is helping to remove any negative stigma about breastfeeding in public. I'm thankful that there are an army of mamas that have gone before me and paved the way to make nursing normal.

Speaking of the little munchkin, we had a doctor's appointment last week and we are now into double digits. He clocked in at a whopping 10 pounds, 21 inches long and a head circumference of 37 cm. He is starting to move out of looking like a newborn and starting to look like a baby. He also is sleeping more at night (yes!) and consistently will sleep for a 5 hour stretch. I feel like a new woman! He also is starting to smile which is so rewarding and makes me so happy. Here is the proof of how much he's growing!







On another note, my maternity leave is over halfway over and it's starting to hit me that in 5 weeks I'll have to leave Eli for a whole day, four days a week. I have to be honest, I don't want to go back to work (sorry any Access folks reading this!). Our intention was that when we had kids I would stay home and Joel would work, but that's not how it's going to work out right now. I have been battling with different emotions about going back to work. Most of me is sad/mad (not at Joel) that Joel hasn't found a job yet, frustrated that I only get 12 weeks when most of the developed world (example Canada) gets 9 months to a year off if a mother wishes, nervous about how Eli will do without me and many other emotions that I'll spare you. I keep on praying that God will give me peace about our situation right now and that I won't be angry at Him for allowing this to happen. But it's hard not to feel like He's not answering our prayers. Then I'm reminded of how He has provided/answered prayers for us during these past 10 months and I am humbled. He has provided most, if not all, of our baby stuff through friends/family generosity, He's given Joel a temporary job at EPIC so we have income during my leave, he's kept our car/house from needing any major repairs, He provided us with the ability and timing to refinance our house (saving us tons of money) and so much more. Those are the examples I cling too when I feel the most frustrated with God and I am reminded that He LOVES us and cares for us and has a plan for us even if I don't see it or like it right now. I cling to those reminders and in doing so, I trust Him.